The Gift of Boundaries
Characters and their performers share a body. From receiving notes and exploring in rehearsal, to performing difficult or vulnerable stage action, the action and trauma of the character is shared-to an extent-with the person portraying that action. As a performer, boundaries and closure between myself and character were never discussed, it wasn’t until I began working as an intimacy director, where closure is a main tenant that I realized a crucial conversation had been missing from rehearsals and classrooms. Boundaries are the foundation for trust, because they set the parameter for the area of play.
All Fool’s Holiday Show, the Den Theatre
“Boundaries are how we map out a play space for everyone in the room to understand so that everyone is playing the same game. The game of making art.”
Often in acting classes and rehearsal rooms, boundaries have become synonymous with ‘limitations’ and in expressing boundaries, a performer can be shamed for being a ‘bad sport’ or ‘bad scene partner’; but boundaries are gifts we give to ourselves and others. A performer saying “you can do anything you want to me” is much less practically useful than “Hey, please don’t touch my collar bone, or my lower back”. In the second example, I can know exactly where I am not allowed to explore, and will ask and trust that my partner will continue to communicate about their boundaries, so that I don’t have to second guess my action. I also now feel more freedom to express my own boundaries. The performer you can do “anything” to, is trying very hard to be a willing and good sport, but is a performer I constantly have to check in with to ensure they really are confident in what their action is. In short: I’m unable to trust them, or it takes much longer to.
How do we set boundaries? Giving a boundary can feel vulnerable, and receiving a boundary can feel personal, so how do we take care of everyone in the situation? Here are some tools from my friend and mentor, Rachel Flesher, as well as things to keep in mind when discussing boundaries from rehearsals to auditions!
-TRAFFIC LIGHT BOUNDARIES: I’ll ask my performers to show what parts of their body are completely fine for their partner to explore (green), what areas of the body need a conversation before incorporating in choreography (yellow, and I also like to throw orange into the mix), and which areas their partner should not contact in the scene (red).
-BE SPECIFIC: hair is different than the face is different from the neck is different from the collar bone etc.
- DEMONSTRATE: Have the performer use their own body to demonstrate or, asking consent, use their partner’s hands to touch the green areas, and hover over the yellow areas, guiding away from the red areas.
-KNOW WHAT YOU NEED (Context): If the scene being worked on is two high school characters sharing their first kiss on a porch, rather than having the actors create a detailed map of their body that may intimidate them, I can offer miniature maps of exploration: “the pelvic areas are going to be red, let’s talk about the head, the arms and torso.” The conversation is ongoing.
- BOUNDARIES NEED NO EXPLANATION: “My hair, and back of my neck are red”. Thank you for taking care of yourself. My job isn’t to know why. My job is to respect your boundary. My job is not to talk about this incredible image I had involving your hair to shame or coerce you into my vision. My job is to respect your boundary. My job is not to say “but yesterday you said...” MY JOB IS TO RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARY.
-THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF: Boundaries are not about the person receiving them. Boundaries are how we map out a play space for everyone in the room to understand so that everyone is playing the same game. The game of making art. Boundaries are a gift, thus the response for receiving a boundary is always thank you.
Remember: our goal is not to get as close to the boundary as we can without crossing it, our goal is to explore in detail the play-space within those boundaries.