Language shapes the way we think and feel about the world and ourselves. The words we use to describe ourselves become the stories we tell about ourselves. The language used in rehearsal rooms to discuss vulnerable, intimate, or potentially upsetting subject matter affects the safety and confidence of performers in their ability to put those subjects on stage, so the use of a vocabulary that does not rely on assumptions about gender or sexual knowledge or experience becomes necessary.

Notes like “Can this be sexier?” “I need you to be more feminine” or “There needs to be more intensity in this moment” may convey to the performer the director’s idea, but in no way aids their achieving it. At best the performer is left to play a stereotype or state-of-being, at worst the performer may feel alienated within their own body- “am I not sexy?” “Is my body weird?” as a transgender performer, I ripple at gendered notes ‘what do you mean more manly?’ ‘Am I being seen for myself right now, or as a crossdresser?’ When the performer is full of doubt and insecure in their body and breath, there is not room for a character to share in that space.

Below are some pieces of advice, insights, and options for substitutes in current vocabulary. Language in the room is often led by the director, however, a room empowered with knowledge, is a room able to discuss the ways in which language, outside of the script, can effect the rehearsal process.

Krugazor by Will Coleman at Theatre Evolve, Chicago. Photo by Trainman Photography

Keep notes about actionable choices.

“Be sexier” is not actionable, or rather, is a note that relies on the performer having the same concept of what “sexier” looks like as the director. “Create more curves with your body, and expose the side of your neck” tells the performer specifically what to do to achieve the director’s goal. It also makes it clear that it’s the character’s body language that is not reading, rather than the performer’s own body.

When possible, tell the performer why they’re receiving the note.

Especially when playing with blocking, or movement that is being constantly changed and reworked in the moment, when instructing a performer about their body, letting them know if it’s an adjustment made for lighting, stage picture, or to change the dynamic of the scene, will let the performer know that they’re not making “wrong choices”, but that choices are being explored. Especially if directed into an unnatural position, performers work very hard to allow movement and blocking to feel “natural”, but the truth is, sometimes it’s not natural. Sometimes I tell an actor to use their left hand rather than their right, because the image created is more interesting or powerful. Telling the performer “this may not feel natural, but this story is so strong!” gives the performer confidence to explore action that may not feel comfortable at first.

Be clear when speaking about the CHARACTER or speaking about the PERFORMER.

Roan @ the Gates by Christina Telesca Gorman at American Blues Theatre, Chicago. Photo by Michael Brosilow

“And then you give them a blow job, and if you could cheat your body out while you do it, that’d be great.” Is the director critiquing the way in which the performer simulates oral sex, or reviewing the action of the character, while giving the actor a note about staging? All of the blocking done within the play, and the material of the play itself, is the action of the character and should be spoken about as such. “Then Jaime has oral sex with Shey, and if you could cheat your body for lighting, that’d be great.” The performer is clear on what is summarizing action, and what is the note to be applied in that moment.

Keep Language Clinical / Medical.

There was another small change made in the previous example. The change from “blow job” to “oral sex”. There is A LOT of available slang available for talking about sex, genetalia, gender, and sexuality. Many of the words are rooted in terms that may have at one point been offensive, or are used outside the context of their meaning and have gained their own connotations. Slang can also be un-specific, if a person has never heard the term, now rehearsal has turned into an Urban Dictionary sex education. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. “The character performs clitoral stimulation on the operating table, and Mrs. Jones is brought to orgasm.” The action is specific, clear, and both characters involved know what is being simulated in the moment. When speaking about bodies, channel your inner personal-trainer and speak in muscle groups. “May I place my hands on your chest / pecs?” “And then his hand travels down and squeezes just under her glutes”. Muscles don’t have a gender, and have the bonus feature of being very specific. An arm on the bicep, and an arm on the back of the tricep are two different stories!

BONUS: Speak in affirmative / positive action.

This is less about specifically degendered / desexualized movement, but general physical instruction of the body. “Don’t play with your hair.” Sets a limit, performers will typically choose awkward stillness to avoid a fidget, or habit. “Keep your hand on the desk throughout this, please.” Gives a performer specific instructions, and sounds like there is still invitation to play, so long as hands are kept on the desk.

BONUS BONUS: Please and Thank You!

Krugazor rehearsal. Photo by Trainman Photography

Performers work hard, especially during choreography, I have to often put them into very strange positions, only to tell them moments later to do something completely different. I tell them to do things, then forget things, I play with minute shapes of elbows, and ask them to breathe a lot. This microscopic attention to movement can seem like microscopic attention on the performer’s body or ability as a performer. “Thank you so much for your patience, and for all of your work today!” “Thank you for your willingness to play.” “Would you tuck your elbow in, please?” It takes a moment, but can make the difference between a rehearsal that feels productive and exhilarating, and one that feels exhausting.

Words have power, if that wasn’t true on some level, Shakespeare, poetry, and song lyrics wouldn’t hit as hard as they do. Utilizing language that is specific, empowering, and free of assumptions is the beginning to an empathetic creative process.

Changing Our Minds by Changing our Language